(via foodchewer)
(Source: bestpranekver, via spacemantotherescue)
i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again
Or the times that they then decide to tell your whole freakin family about it and then exaggerate the story to make you sound stupid…
And then they complain that you never tell them anything
(via lindsaylo-hansolo)
Now remember kids …if a stranger offers you a fandom
STAY AWAY.
STAY FAR FAR AWAY.
maybe shes born with it
maybe its Meow-belline
Follow Your Dreams!
That took a direction I did not expect.
That was the best direction that could have taken
I don’t know what I expected.
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
- Me: Hello?
- Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
- Me: I have no mother.
- Her: Well can I speak to your father?
- Me: Yeah, which one?
- Her: Which one is home?
- Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
- Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
- Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
- Her: So who's Antonio?
- Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
- Her: So Carlos was cheating?
- Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
- Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
- Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
- Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
- Me: I never said that.
- Her: Yes, yes you did!
- Me: No I didn't.
- Her: Y-yes! You did!
- Me: Did what?
- Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
(via sarahleee)
